


chaos drifters

by kaze no kokyuu (Tigurijia)



Category: Super Sentai Series, 騎士竜戦隊リュウソウジャー | Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulger
Genre: Denial of Feelings, First Time, M/M, Reconciliation, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigurijia/pseuds/kaze%20no%20kokyuu
Summary: Koh realizes that his feelings towards Towa are not reciprocated.[...maybe....?]
Relationships: Koh/Towa (Ryusoulger)
Kudos: 6





	1. burn that riddle till the last scene

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Dizzy for beta reading this story!

Koh was the first to wake up. It was already daytime, judging by the sun already high in the sky it must be late morning. A dry throat forced him up and out of bed in an attempt to reach the kitchen but couldn’t do so because of a weight that prevented any movement of the body. He peered out of the corner of his eye at Towa sleeping blissfully by his side - or rather, on him - and couldn't help hiding a smug smile as he thought back to the events of the previous night.

He had stolen a kiss from Towa in the shower after training, from a simple kiss they had deepened and eventually took Towa to his room. He had seen a version of Towa that he would never have imagined he could see even in his dreams, and now Towa is in his bed, completely letting his guard down.   
For Koh it was a completely new experience, he had never shared a bed with anyone except Asuna and Melto when they were younger, but never with someone he cared about in any other way than a simple fraternal love.

Towa was in front of him, half turned on his stomach, one arm curled up under the pillow and the other tucked against his own chest. The blankets lifted up to cover his face, fringe fell on his face, slightly obscuring his blissful and defenseless expression. Koh stretched one hand to move the fringe from   
Towa's face and at that slightest contact the young man wrinkled his forehead slightly, sighing, then sinking with his face into the pillow. It was clear that he was waking up, but despite this his eyes continued to remain closed.

His memory returned once again to the night before, when for the first time he and Towa had consumed a pleasure that neither of them had ever had the courage to experience before. He clearly remembered Towa who could barely stand, swinging on his own legs, until Koh had supported him with his own arms. He remembered a whispered "thank you" from the youngest, his lips brushing against his shoulders as he struggled against tiredness mixed with pleasure. Towa rubbed himself against him, rubbing his face against his shoulder and Koh found himself thinking what to do: he couldn't kick Towa out, but on the other hand he couldn't even get in touch with his brother, it would have been absolutely too embarrassing!

And so, in the end, he had stayed with him, in his bed.

His hobby became to stare at Towa's lips - small and puffy - opening slightly every time he breathed and without much effort Koh could perfectly remember the taste those lips had against his own. Soft at first glance, then hard, disorderly and sometimes even capable of shameless gestures. At that thought a familiar warmth pervaded his face again, distracted only by the increasingly frequent movements of Towa who seemed about to wake up.

When Towa's eyes met Koh's, everything seemed to stop, then Towa blinked once, slowly.  
Koh was about to greet him with a "Good morning" when suddenly Towa realized where he was. His expression changed radically, showing horror, discomfort, disappointment. 

Koh's smile faded, extinguished like a firework that gave off the last sparks before disappearing into darkness. 

Koh couldn't help but notice Towa's trembling fingers clutching the sheets as he slowly moved his head in denial. As if he didn't accept something, as if he didn't want to talk... As if he didn't want to be there at that moment.  
As he let go of the sheets, Towa clutched his head instead, cradling it between the palms of his hands, his nails sinking into the strands of hair.  
Koh didn't have the courage to ask him what was happening, at that moment he felt so much pressure that the words ended up dying his throat, his heart in a painful grip.

Towa freed himself from the blankets, beginning to frantically search for his clothes scattered around the room while Koh stared at him inert, unable to pronounce any meaningful word. Towa's movements were irregular, as if he were trembling, his expression similar to that of a caged animal.  
But Koh was not a hunter at all, on the contrary he could not understand the behavior of the other, the reason why he was running away, from whom or what he was running away from. 

"Towa?"  
"Leave me alone, you can't understand." 

Replied Towa in a severe tone, risking tripping while wearing his own trousers.   
Although Towa was in the darkest part of the room, Koh was able to clearly distinguish the marks he had left on his body, the same marks Towa had enthusiastically reciprocated last night, marking him with satisfaction.   
Koh wanted to get up and stop him, but he felt paralyzed: anger bubbled under his terrified expression, mixed with frustration at seeing Towa flee from what he had wanted until the night before as if it depended on his own life.

"Don't tell anyone about this... Please."

When Koh looked up at Towa's eyes, he found an empty expression, as if the boy was looking beyond, towards something indefinite and that he couldn’t see.  
Koh had nothing to say, he watched Towa turn his back and walk away without adding a word.

The door to his room slammed and Koh grabbed the pillow in frustration, holding it so tightly that he risked tearing it, ripping it to shreds.   
The mattress is still lukewarm in contact with his body, but now that warmth has faded, one small proof remained that Towa once lay there next to him.

And yet his heart was cold.


	2. shoot me right in the heart till you wear yourselves out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koh, Towa. Reconciliation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to Dizzy for beta reading this story!

Koh had the feeling that he had destroyed something important, the funny thing is that he didn't even realize it. It wasn't like him to not be able to find the courage to talk to Towa and yet, every time he met his eyes, he felt such pressure that he couldn't confront the other boy. A week had now passed since that day and although they had had more than one opportunity to clarify, their interactions had been minimal, limited to team work. 

Towa was always the same with the rest of the group, during the battle he didn’t hesitate and gave the best of himself, obviously Koh did the same, but he could feel a strong grip on his heart every time he met Towa's elusive gaze. 

Ten days after their last confrontation, Koh finally managed to find the right moment to confront Towa; the Knight of speed was training on his own, between one slash and another he seemed perfectly concentrated, but in reality not realizing Koh's presence it was clear that his head was elsewhere. 

He took yet another slash and remained motionless, without even turning towards Koh to look him in the face.

" _ What do you want? _ " He asked impatiently, his shoulders stretched, on his face an indecipherable expression that even if he had shown Koh, wouldn’t have let his true feelings slip through his fingers. The older one sighed, trying to make local mind while more or less negative thoughts overlapped in his head. It wasn’t like him to feel so under pressure to confront a friend, but this situation was different considering that he didn’t really know how to define their relationship.

"I could ask you the same question. Do you want to continue like this forever?" The approach hadn't been the best and Towa's tone had irritated him, the fact that he acted as if he didn't care about him even more. He watched the younger shoulders lower as he dropped his arms and sword along his hips, finally turning towards Koh. 

"I'm sorry, but I have nothing to say to you. I don't know what kind of idea you have about this situation, but it’s surely the wrong one." 

Before Towa could turn his back on Koh again, the older grabbed him by the wrist, preventing him from avoiding the confrontation. Towa was astonished, inside himself Koh felt the same feeling because it was absolutely not like him to react in that way, or at least, it wasn’t a behavior that the “current Koh” would normally show towards others. Something was triggered in Koh when he heard those words coming out of Towa's mouth, but it wasn’t only that, also the tone, the behavior, his elusive look.

"Let me go, you're hurting me" Koh realized the pressure he was putting on Towa's wrist and slightly trained his grip, trying to hide the displeasure for the disproportionate reaction. 

"Tell me you don't really care and I'll stop pushing." Koh didn't seem to believe his own words, but he didn't want to jeopardize his relationship with Towa forever - besides the one with his friends. 

Towa paused to look at Koh's face, his lips pulled into a serious, almost grieving expression. He wasn’t used to seeing him in that state and faced with that situation he recognized that the only way out of it was to talk about it. 

"It's not you, not even what we did. It’s a set of things that struck me." 

He answered with an uncertain tone to which Koh had to tighten his mouth even more to avoid an unpleasant tone, in his head selfish thoughts followed one another, he was happy to hear Towa didn’t deny what had happened between them but at the same time he continued to feel hurt. 

“ I panicked the day we ..." There was no need to continue, Koh immediately understood what Towa meant and for a moment he felt a feeling similar to empathy towards him. 

"And you ran away"

Towa replied with a wounded glance to which Koh felt absolutely no guilt, after all it was the truth.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have done it"

The sun was slowly sinking below the horizon, leaving a slice of gold still visible, little by little the sky was darkening, creating shadows on the faces of the two boys. 

"I know I said to not tell anyone."

Koh stiffened to the memory of those words, Towa blocked himself holding his breath, as if he were struggling with himself, fighting against the idea of taking the easiest way out.

"Everything was so... Natural. I don't regret it at all -" 

"You drove me crazy, you know?"

Towa's expression was the one of an abandoned puppy, but that wasn’t the real reason for Koh to relax and look for a different approach: his hands trembled violently and he had never seen him in that state. He didn't want to let Towa get away with it, but at the same time he wanted to understand what was going on.

"Towa, you’re confusing me. First you show me one side of you, and then you change it by showing me another. I honestly don't know how to deal with you."

"I like being with you." Towa murmured after a few seconds of silence, trying to find courage and speak once and for all with the heart instead of instinct "When we talk, when we train together...". 

He hesitated, his head bent in a moment of unusual shyness.

"When have we slept together, too?”

Koh's shamelessness hit Towa and instinctively lifted his head, red in the face, for the first time he noticed that Koh was finally smiling.

"Were you thinking about something else?" Koh provoked him intentionally, Towa shook his head vigorously, trying to drive away that feeling of embarrassment and come to his senses, so that Koh would not get the better of him.

"I thought that distancing myself from you would solve my problems, obviously I was wrong. This wasn’t the conclusion, simply a statement of what had caused that series of misunderstandings, Koh laughed quietly, drawing Towa's attention who seemed ready to accept the other's judgment, whatever it may be.

"Other than that, I cannot really read your mind. If there's something wrong, you have to talk about it, okay?" 

It was ironic, considering that Towa in the family had always been the most communicative, but for delicate subjects like this his brain had gone haywire. He nodded, once again meeting Koh's reassuring expression to which he replied with a nod of apology. 

"I really like you, so much, Koh..." To prevent the atmosphere from becoming too sappy, Towa hit him with a fake fist, right in the chest, a way to feel that Koh was really there in front of him. The other one let him do it, held back the desire to take that hand and kiss it, limiting himself to a less intimate but perhaps equally effective gesture, surrounded Towa in his arms.

He felt like a fool, because although he still felt a bit angry, he still wanted Towa close to him. Neither of them dared speak, enjoying the presence of the other, letting the tension fade away in that relaxing silence. 

"Okay, maybe we'd better go back." Koh said, parting from the other, Towa returned with a sulk.

"You know you're not in a position to throw tantrums?" He added with a smile, increasing Towa's pout.

"I know it's my fault, but it feels like forever since I've had you so close to me." 

Towa wasn't exactly the type to show such honesty in terms of feelings, that reply provoked a squeeze on Koh's heart, he made to open his mouth to respond, but was prevented by Towa's lips on his own. It was a light contact, but with a bitter note of desperation, as if he wanted at all costs to make sure that Koh was really there. 

In the separation, Koh took Towa's hand in his own, squeezing it in an attempt to instill some of his optimism, which he usually did more than well. 

"Is everything going to be alright?"

Towa asked, uncertain, provoking a hoarse laugh from Koh; starting over had never been easy, it could be awkward at first, sometimes even painful, and yet Koh considered his connection with Towa important enough to continue to desire it even though he knew it would be an uphill road.

" _Everything will be alright_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comments and ko-fi are really appreciated! (https://ko-fi.com/rian0desu)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this story!  
> I finished watching Ryusoulger recently knowing that it was not a very popular series... And... I LOVE IT, REALLY!  
> I'm currently writing the final chapter of this story, it will end well, bad, who knows? And I have already written a Koh/Melto which I will publish in the coming days! I hope you will appreciate it!


End file.
